Jeff has already answered your basic question, namely, that you should be able to get the data you need using IPUMS-DHS as your data source. You select the countries, sample years, and variables you need, and the IPUMS extract system creates a single customized data file in the format you choose, with however many variables you specify.
IPUMS-DHS merges the household record to the woman’s record and also merges the mother’s record (and her household record) to the child and birth records, so you shouldn’t have to do any merging to get the information on mothers and household characteristics.
Some technical variables that help you determine which country and sample year an observation comes from are automatically added to your data file. These identifying technical variables include SAMPLE, COUNTRY, and YEAR. You can sort the data using your stats package with those variables.
You should definitely use weights. For the domestic violence variables, one woman (who had ever been married) was randomly selected for each household, so you need to use the special domestic violence weight when employing those variables (DVWEIGHT). If you are not using the domestic violence variables, you can use the standard person weight (PERWEIGHT).
Good luck with your research.